The question is often asked, sometimes expressed, sometimes just thought about: I've been practising meditation for x number of years and nothing really seems to have changed. It may not actually be a question but it sure sounds like one.
First of all, what is it that's supposed to change? Maybe we have either been having the wrong expectation or looking in the wrong place. Meditation and spiritual progress are easily misunderstood, and no matter how much we know we shouldn’t have expectations, still we have them, and expectation muddies what should be clear water.
Then how do you clear muddy water? Don’t touch it, don’t meddle, leave it alone and it will settle; try to settle it and it will stir it up all the more.
Intent and Expectation are not the same
Well first, do we even know why we practice meditation? Because there has to be a clear distinction between intent and expectation. Consider this: Meditation is not about self improvement, it's about self awareness. Of course out of self awareness there is self-improvement, but not necessarily of the sort that we expect when we start out.
Intent is about having a purpose, an aim, a goal, a resolution - called a sankalpa. Having an aim is a positive intent, it galvanises and inspires. And it causes a focus on a sense of direction and therefore minimises distractions away from that sense of purpose.
But an aim does not automatically confer an outcome. The aim makes sense and is do-able, but it takes time and effort, that’s why its called an aim. So have an aim, be inspired and make the effort, but have no expectation of the timing or the eventual outcome.
A still small voice?
Meditation is about the inner life. We are much wiser in our inner life, but do we even have access, or hear, let alone listen to the still small voice within? Not really, and if we do, we soon take it to conscious thought, and then often find it unacceptable and reason it away. If this happens, and it happens a lot, we become a house divided - between our inner knowing self and our outer expectations.
How can progress be made if we don't know how to hear our own inner self? Meditation is about discovering, hearing, listening to and trusting (in that order) the genuine inner voice. Then the question of intent and outcome resolve into one another.
The right practice for the intent?
Then there is an essential but often overlooked question: Is the meditation practice the right one for the original intent? Because different meditation philosophies and practices have different outcomes.
Without going into detail and just as examples, a meditation practice with a strong emphasis on focus will improve concentration, but it may have little effect on awakening compassion. And a practice of self inquiry into discovering and overcoming negative qualities to eventually arrive at a more positive outlook may not have much of an effect on concentration and focused attention.
For more on this, please refer to the book The Science of Meditation by Daniel Goleman and Richard J Davidson, citing clinical studies at the highest level
Is there a right way to practice beyond the technique?
Then, even allowing for expectations - a hoped for outcome - have we even been going about the practice of meditation in the right way to achieve that hoped for outcome?
To put it straight, just to sit and recite a mantra by rote even on a regular basis may not actually change much without other qualities awakening concurrently.
For genuine change to occur, what needs to happen in all meditation practice is the concurrent awakening of self-awareness - the ability to be a clear-eyed observer of my own experience, viewing all things equally without analysis or judgment, in the same clear light.
This is not so easy, and it takes time and diligent practice, experiment, and trial and error, to align the vision accurately. But if the vision does align accurately then the motivating force - the cause behind the effect that leaves a mess of memories and impressions in the mind, pain in the heart - that motivating force may eventually reveal itself and in so doing neutralise the limiting effect.
What is not known from within has power over us, what comes to be known by continued accurate vision must eventually relinquish that power.
And so it’s true you cannot release what you don’t know
Including an awakening awareness in any practice is the clearest way to quieting the noisy brass band in the mind and the accompanying rhythm section in the heart. To be able eventually to hear, at first a hint, then occasionally, then intermittently, then who knows… the sweet soft melody of the innate wisdom within. All else is just fooling ourselves.
And three signs of change as a result of meditation practice
Desires generally get less and the strong desires gradually weaken their hold.
The ability to move more and more easily between the outer and inner worlds so that there is a sense of the two connecting up, with less of differences between the two.
It’s not that there are no emotional peaks and troughs, but the speed of recovery from them increases with a spontaneous return to equilibrium.